I’m sitting here watching a soap
Makes me really feel like a dope.
…Instead of wasting my time
…I should get off the dime
But I’m finding it hard to cope
I should clean up this place
It’s really a paper chase.
… It has me reeling
… Stuff piled to the ceiling.
It’s just an old rat race.
I feel that if I clean up it all
That I will die in the fall
…But it will reduce the gloom
… If I can clean up this room
So I’ll try to get on the ball.
But I feel if this junk goes away
That there will be hell to pay
…So to keep on living
… At least till Thanksgiving
The stuff has to stay where it may
So I’ll work at all this mess
And try to pass the test
…They say that if I had my druthers
… I’d be one of the Collyer brothers
… But that is not true
… I swear it to you
I’ll try to do my best.
The shrinks all call it disposophobia
It’s worse than triskaidekaphobia
…It’s when you can’t bear
…To dispose of what’s there…
… You can’t throw stuff away
… Everything has to stay
… There’s no vaccine to ease
…This dreadful disease
I might as well move to Monrovia,
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