for my mother
I am clueless how brave you are
while conceiving me as mysterious infinitesimal cell at first
floating inside your excruciating underwater womb
waiting patiently the approaching 12th day of December 1979
and the upcoming fearful twin of all birth –
the tragic death
I can’t imagine the motherly sacrifice
the pain upon laboring me
as your first-born child,
mixed with excitement and worries
grasping in your nerves when you’re about to wean
my breathing away from your lungs
by letting me to breath independently
striving on my own
Then you hear my baby cry
with initial innocent tears
welcoming the dramatic weeping years ahead
as if a loud scream of cowardice
as if a pre-visualization the encumbrance of
well-manifested, approach-avoidance mundane journey
the unavoidable path of all mortals
and it all begin in disperate home
our inherent home
eventually becomes my self-evaluated penitence home
where once you lived seemingly alone
Your sacrifices become mine
as we begin to conjoin the sorrows
the springboard of our pensive tears
of sufferings of hardships
forcibly push me up prematurely to combat
against hard-to-bear emotional upheavals
I never complain that I should be aborted while
clinging obliviously in an umbilical cord
nor aspiring to be a murdered fetus thru
unintentional justifiable miscarriage
I never grief about my placental fate
as i regret not that you are my mother
This is my existence
I believe in creation as pro-life advocate
no need to question Creator’s omnipotent hand
the oxygen-provider, the life giver
the wisdom bestower so I can conciously recognize
the emergence of my peculiar individuality
to fathom the mother and son, son and mother tandems
the most awesome and inspiring bonds
of all human lifelong relationships
firmly links and stands together
since time immemorial
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