Father-In-Law

My father-in-law is so old that his first friend was Barney Rubble.
When he comes to my house, he causes nothing but trouble.
I can hear him coming when I hear his old bones creak.
He pees all over himself every time he tries to take a leak.
He tries to get my wife to leave me every time he comes.
He eats all of our food and then he gets drunk on my rum.
When he visits, he gets mad and raves and rants.
I want to see the look on his face when I put a lobster down his pants.
He’s coming over tonight and I’m going to break a lot of his bones.
I’m going to raise hell until he leaves me alone.