As I Lie Both Awake and Asleep

As I lie both awake and asleep
On the floor at the top of the years,
The momentous steps of that not coming
Are like distant thunders on my ears-

Like footsteps approaching, like thunders,
Like statues falling on rubber,
The eardrum of the brain palpitates
To the dreadful tread of arrears.

The stairways hidden in the walls
Prepare to receive the blows,
The sound of that never coming
Puffs like a storm at the ears.

I hear a punishing body,
The aggregate thud in the halls,
Like a ganging up of one’s sins
That have worn harmless faces for years-

Like blows on a sensitive framework
In the other rooms of have been,
Tomorrow falls on its thundery paws-
For I lie in the grip of my fears.