I Used To Be Afraid

Often I have prayed
Because I used to be afraid

I used to be afraid
Of falling sick
Or perceived as weak
Or a fruitless freak

I used to be afraid
Of anyone constantly been nice
And still keep running away from mice

I used to be afraid
Of failing to put up a performance
When given a chance at romance

I used to be afraid
Of saying the wrong thing
Because of the consequence it may bring
Or of experiencing pain
Either the physical or mental strain

I used to be afraid
Of dying of a massive heart attack
Or of the color black and the relentless dark

I used to be afraid
Of getting slowly very ugly and old
Or been left homeless out in the cold
Or of failing to live up to expectation
Or of random human condemnation

I used to be afraid
Of dying hence always avoided flying
Or of being alone at home at night
Or of standing up for my right

I used to be afraid
Of becoming poor
And begging from door to door

I used to be afraid
Of what they call change
Or of events I interpreted as strange
Or of breaking my heart
Once love blatantly decided to part

I used to be afraid
Of the unknown like life after death
Or the actual reality of hells threat

I used to be afraid
Of nothing and then nothing became something

From now I am going to be strong
Whether I am right or wrong
I am telling you like I have never done before
I ain’t scared no more
Like I was way back before

Copyright 2005 – Sylvia Chidi