What Follows Is a Reconstruction Based on the Best Available Evidence

1. I ate eggs from a chafing dish while the baker reminded us: the only thing that will hurt you out here are your own bad decisions

2. I felt fettered then un-

3. I listened to the rain

4. I listened to the rain hitting the Carrier compressor, the gravel walk

5. I listened to the rain flattening the clover, I listened to the rain letting up and then it was ozone and drip

6. On the bench under the overhang in the rain I let myself pretend I was younger and childless, like the first time I arrived here

7. The first time I arrived here, I never thought I am small and luminous

8. The body, burdened and miraculous

9. The body as thin-nest boundary

10. I climbed into your body like a cave

11. I was frightened to walk in the dark

12. Late at night even my own movements became unknowable, magnified and rustling

13. The night cut by the moon, punctured by the whistle of the cargo train

14. There was only a hole, there was only forward and more forward

15. The inevitability of a scarred life, your pulse, stitches, this palace of breath

16. go on, go on / again, again / return, return