Captain Haddock vs. the PTA

Bewildered Saint of the curse, bulbous
& profane, I invoke you against this Nest
Of Lice & Vipers: O volcanic Captain, I implore you, pour
Your scorn upon these Borgias; before these Braggarts
Unfurl your thick invective, show your bullet head
Whiskey-pickled, weathered & pupilless, sweating
In a bantam rage, your sad-fish face a fist;
Ostrogothic versus the matrons
Voluble against the Vampire’s slander
Because I would never say Vivisectionist to her face
While you old Captain Fatstock, Hopscotch, Havoc
Denouncer of Bullies, Knitters & Bandits
Live to make the air around you frantic
To spill your black lake of Cannibal ink.

Source: Poetry (July/August 2009)