If you want a receipt for that popular mystery,
Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon,
Take all the remarkable people in history,
Rattle them off to a popular tune!
The pluck of LORD NELSON on board of the VICTORY –
Genius of BISMARCK devising a plan;
The humour of FIELDING (which sounds contradictory) –
Coolness of PAGET about to trepan –
The grace of MOZART, that unparalleled musico –
Wit of MACAULAY, who wrote of QUEEN ANNE –
The pathos of PADDY, as rendered by BOUCICAULT –
Style of the BISHOP OF SODOR AND MAN –
The dash of a D’ORSAY, divested of quackery –
Narrative powers of DICKENS and THACKERAY –
VICTOR EMMANUEL – peak-haunting PEVERIL –
THOMAS AQUINAS, and DOCTOR SACHEVERELL –
TUPPER and TENNYSON – DANIEL DEFOE –
ANTHONY TROLLOPE and MISTER GUIZOT!
Take of these elements all that is fusible,
Melt ’em all down in a pipkin or crucible,
Set ’em to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!
If you want a receipt for this soldierlike paragon,
Get at the wealth of the CZAR (if you can) –
The family pride of a Spaniard from Arragon –
Force of MEPHISTO pronouncing a ban –
A smack of LORD WATERFORD, reckless and rollicky –
Swagger of RODERICK, heading his clan –
The keen penetration of PADDINGTON POLLAKY –
Grace of an Odalisque on a divan –
The genius strategic of CAESAR or HANNIBAL –
Skill of LORD WOLSELEY in thrashing a cannibal –
Flavour of HAMLET – the STRANGER, a touch of him –
Little of MANFRED (but not very much of him) –
Beadle of Burlington – RICHARDSON’S show –
MR. MICAWBER and MADAME TUSSAUD!
Take of these elements all that is fusible –
Melt ’em all down in a pipkin or crucible –
Set ’em to simmer and take off the scum,
And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!
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