I’m starting over with one breath,
a sigh, the sound “ffffffffff”-
head down, shoulders dropped,
feet a body width apart,
knees unsteadily holding
the half squat. This is how
the shaping begins
to erase the early whine,
the weary twang,
to find the path to the husky
“Yes,” so when the longed-for
moment comes, my tongue will
be ready with the lush and lilting
answer. Standing erect
I’m practicing “mmmmmmmmmm”
on the exhale now,
feeling the vibrations on my lips,
changing pitch with a “hummmmmmmmah”
flying up from my chest.
I haven’t gotten deep enough
for words yet,
and if I talk you’ll recognize
the old stubborn child noise-
that constant thrashing
against the palate
as if it were every bolted door.
Someday you’ll hear me, free.
Touching you, my voice
will be exactly what I say.
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