Do You Know Who I Did Last Summer?

Praying that you don’t see
My betrayal lurking in these baby blue eyes
I try to hide the good way he made me feel
So that you’ll never know
Never even for a moment think about
Your lover leaving you for another
One time
One mistake
I can’t ever take it back and for that I am so sorry
More sorry than you will ever know
I….
Oh my God!
Wait! Was that…..?
Yes! I think it was!
Just now as you passed by my office
I saw a flicker of that green-eyed monster jealousy in your eyes
Leaving me speechless
Questioning silently in my mind
Dear God in heaven, lover. do you know?
Do you know who I did last Summer?

In a panic
I don’t know what to do
My skin is burning and blushing
Just like I had a fever
Can’t move
I feel so paryalzed
Frozen into a permanent place
Not wanting to believe that it could be true
Yet knowing that it must be
Somehow you must have discovered or been told
My deepest, darkest secret
The one thing that would forever seperate us
The poison to our love
My fatal flaw
My night spent in the arms of another
Someone you know all too well
Someone that you thought you could trust
Oh God! Please let me be wrong!
Please don’t say yes if I ask you
Do you know who I did last summer?

Scambling
Frantic
I call all my friends
Swearing them one by one
To the unmost silence
Taking any and every measure that I can
To cover my tracks
Hide from your loving eyes
The worse thing I ever did to you
Well, the second worst
If you ever found out about me and…..well, that’s another story
Shaking like a leaf in a gale force wind
I wait
Watching and listening to every tick of the clock upon my wall
Knowing that every minutes that passes could be bringing me that much closer
Closer to my doom
Bitten my nails down to nothing
Gashed my teeth and pulled out almost every hair
In agony every time you call to me from the hall
Guilt overwelms
Forcing me to almost confess
Dreading just what your answer might be if I dare to ask
My darling
My love
Tell me
Do you know who I did last Summer?

I have a headache now
So much
Too much tension in my life
Screaming at me
Gotta put right what I put wrong
Gasping
I feel so out of breath
Not sure how much longer I can go on this way
Living under the glare of your accusing stare
Driving me beyond just mad
Driving me straight to my knees
In front of my boss
Trying to get some sexual relief and healing
Oh wait….maybe I should’t have told you about that
*edit*

Now where was I?
Oh yeah, I remember

Begging God to take me now and put me down
Six feet down
Cos I’d rather be there I know
Anywhere but in the same room with yo
Guilt kinda eating away at my soul
Just waiting for my heart to blow
Beating double time
Crying all the time
Can’t eat
Can’t sleep
Constantly feeling your heartbroken eyes upon me
I wanna scream at you to stop it
Hurt you for hurting you
All the while fearing and dreading what you say
If I ever ask you
Baby, tell me now I lose my mind and go stark raving mad
Lover…..do you know who I did last Summer?

2009 Ramona Thompson