I sat on the edge of the bed
and held his hand it was dry
and cold I squeezed the hand
but of course there was no re
sponse they had dressed him
in one of his Scottish tweed
suits with the deer’s-horn
buttons on the side pockets
and put on the Princeton
(orange and black) tie I
had come to say goodbye I
was crying but suddenly my
sadness changed to resent
ment even to anger almost
to hatred why are you de
serting me how dare you
leave me in my rage I
pulled up his shoulders
and shook him as hard as
I could I raised him
further and banged his head
against the pillow I want
ed to make him open his eyes
how can you abandon me you
the one who loved me most.
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