The Crow Ghost Of Haunting Footsteps

Break my neck; snap it in two, snap it in half
don’t give me that incredulous, frightened look as I ask
don’t hesitate in front of me, please just do me this favor
so I gain a halo, live forever under my own protective silo
Well do I have your attention now please
this isn’t what I came to you for but life is out to smother it seems
Here I stand a man, a boy
though I feel like a toy, pulled two ways by kids with way too much joy causing too much noise
I’m not feeling it today
this hamster wheel we call daily routine
this whole work, sleep, repeat lifestyle we wage
I’ve had enough of minimum wage; had enough of these days but this is just commonality, a casual notion
while we all casually tell ourselves
‘This is only a phase, we’ll get through another day’
Here we go, the next sunlight; the sun ever bright
but everything is still the same
It is said the world can’t change overnight
at least some say without a fight
though in reality, it doesn’t take much
but a mistaken touch, an absent-minded clutch, trying to find a way to stand without a crutch
when all that is wanted is love from a beautiful dove
to look up above and say thank you for it all
not stare at barren hands, wonder is it all lost
I’ve lost, undeniable; I’ve lost, undeniably so
so spills the secret from my lips that may cause a rift
but here it sits, swept under the carpet
forgive me if I’m paralyzed by dialect unrecognized
I leave unpunished for a thought my own version of Rea didn’t proceed to show me the meaning of bite
I leave unpunished by my own version of a mermaid for speaking how I feel…about her best friend
Don’t berate me with misinformed, misinterpreted names of bewilderment and curiosity
All I said was Crush, all I said was intrigue, all I said was the pursuit of who Marceline was behind her own version of a screen
Will I know, on my own terms eventually
but in actuality I wanted to rip that thought out of the burning smoke in my chest
as the guilt, as the words I still haven’t and utterly refuse to speak of kept building and building in lungs that aren’t big enough until they just tumbled out
so out goes the notion I left unpunished because though downgraded has this conversation fell
I still punish myself or is it my mind that punishes me
I look at the ground while I ride my Mothra, a bike on just two wheels as my shadow thrice passes by me
moving faster than me…no matter how fast I travel
my shadows all move faster than I do
No matter how fast I peddle, no matter how fast Mothra flies
the world is faster than me
To take a page out of the book of Naruto:
no matter how fast I walk, how fast I develop, there is always someone walking in front of me
an obstacle I just keep stumbling over
just like…she always does
a friendly push in the wrong direction
If I may borrow a line from This Wild Life
She’s a planet, I’m only a comet
people gravitate to her while others part like grass in wind whenever I draw near
I’m at my worst when I’m with her, I’m at my worst when I think of her
She’s everything I had ever wanted
8 years back, she was everything I had ever wanted
but as of now, she doesn’t love me I can tell
As far as she’s concerned, I’m only a ghost in the night who haunts her footsteps for I wish sometimes maybe subconsciously those footsteps were leading to me
but my gut says hate her, my heart says love her while my mind just sits in its strait jacket laughing away
and I, outside my own mind, ponder the world around me
outside my universe
A husband, soon to be
a boyfriend of 5 years, temporary
walked into his house, his daily routine
thought to be just another day
through the front door
not knowing his wife, soon to be
his girlfriend of 5 years
yelled to the skies for her pain to end
dived off the banister, broke her neck to break her fall
while in present, her boyfriend screamed in expletives or maybe in stunned silence of shocking horror
or maybe he shouted to the sky, ‘Gosh, darn it all! ! ! ! ! ‘
If you have a heart built of faith and love, lend a prayer or quick word to the blue skies for her to rest peacefully
My only wish is for her to ascend past the clouds, not be boiled by the Earth’s molten magma
The husband, soon to be
now a widower can only set flowers by her pictures
has a chance to bounce back from this depressive state, start over with a blank slate
stage dive onto the hands of his family to keep himself afloat
but if I assume to know his emotions, assume to know his mind
He’s drowning in ice water, cursing at the sight he saw, cursing at himself for not preventing it
singing Dear Death in pure hatred for them to take him instead and give her back
screaming at the sky ‘Why HER? ? ! ! ‘
bargaining for the return of the only woman to have his love forever
Don’t hold her picture in a locket you fool
or else you’ll just see her face swinging from her makeshift noose
I can only hold you for comfort, I don’t know what else to do
I’m empty too
I don’t persist to know what it feels like to have a loved one’s neck break at my very feet
but I know what it feels like to have a promised wife give me love then leave me feeling tremendously weak as life finds a way to tear us apart completely
Scream at me, make it the best I ever heard
don’t waste your breath on the wind trying to console you
take it out on me, let it out, just breathe
then cry all you need
says the empty, dreaming, venting, longing, ghost of haunting footsteps of a crow known as me