An escape to the weekend, I wished for it
thought the weekend would bring comfort, leisure
but it’s only brought drama, an irritant, a depressive state
The plans I had in store contorted from a small insignificant thing
into a catastrophic avalanche attempting engulf me in ruin
Fly away from today, haven’t my wings grown yet
I perished by a sword inside my mind, not a daydream
don’t try and fix me
Just let me think and drink
from the rain these clouds pass down to me
I’m nothing who I want to be, critical and demanding
I’m nothing who I want to be, in a gutter and I can’t breathe
I’m nothing who I want to be
I have the image in my sight, getting there is my only challenge
It’s me, I know it; my own worst enemy
an invisible line, still unseen
It’s me and I can’t hold it in anymore
I’m the problem, the headache
It’s just another pill to that’s too bitter to take in
Tell me if I’m good enough yet the answer I’m searching for
is switched with a different meaning by being told I’m strong enough
You deserve more, I know I can’t deny it much longer
but to let go is to forfeit
and I don’t want to go down like a coward
no no no, not yet, never but please, this question, answer for me
Have we grown out of touch, out of luck
are we standing across separate shorelines shouting airlessly
I apologize, I’m sorry ~ ever so sorry
My options are limited as are my decisions
My options are very limited
or is this only the product of my own design
I’m still struggling with the terms of this
trying to learn how to act because I feel so strongly
I’m that lonely messenger lost at sea
floating on a message in a bottle
I’m not good enough, barely strong enough
only one, not a carbon copy nor clone
and I can’t be where you are until more years pass by
My knowledge ignorant for I don’t know the story beyond your eyes
though I know the distance persists to devour your insides
it devours me everyday
To you I say I’m sorry, ever so sorry
neither of us wanted this but nothing can stop us from feeling this
To myself I wish the best but I’m alone in this mess
Adversities, my new worst enemy, I was never prepared for this
You, the greatest love I have ever know
you are my only! now my lost and lonely
since I’m in a solitary state
useless I remain and sorry I say
EVER SO SORRY
You deserve more, more than me
all I am is a fading living memory
Just please promise me, promise me our melodies won’t grow grey
they’re our memories, memories; something I don’t want to lose
and I don’t want to lose you…I don’t want to lose you
Not today, not in a week, not in a month, nor year; not tomorrow
but I’m growing in un-medicated sadness you may one day say
One more goodbye headed my way then I may faint
A Coma Toxic State, so tell me now
what am I supposed to do
I’m fading fast, losing ground and losing sight
No shoreline to return to, they’ve banned me
This coma toxic state, it’s starting to sink in
I’m being poisoned by lust, by fear, by blood~my own, by love
I can’t escape this fate
I’ve sealed it too tight with too many words
the more I try to find a way around it, it only gets worse
For myself and everyone else, happiness
all I wish to get rid of is this sickness that is desire
this disease I was never born with a priority
Why did I let those nails claw so deep into me, a harpy
These nine lashes on my back are nine problems
I carry from the world
and the wound is infected, repayment for my inability to cure
I’m poisoned from this coma toxic state
losing sight of ground, no shoreline left to return to
Just please tell me now, tell me how to change it; change this
I’m fading fast, becoming a corrupt fading memory
a desperate ghost, a plea to the living
Someone please, please if you can hear me
Help me….help me….
5 Entries Of Poisoned Coma Toxic State
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