The Lettuce And Burger Address…..[long; Humor; Capitalism]

Four months and seven days ago me an’ my brother Joe here
brought to ‘yas’ a new diner with both sugar AND Equal, and
catsup for all.
Our competition (ha ha) cut prices to pressure us, but we countered with a new menu…..and topless waitresses.
There have been some skirmishes as some ‘a’ ‘ya’, our customers know.
But Joe and me are diner veterans and ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’, as Mom used to say.

Remember not all diners, meaning businesses, are created equal to US, but all diners, meaning people, ARE equal to US, and we plan ‘ta’ come out on top.
Many ‘a’ ‘yas’ been good and loyal customers for weeks, and
Joe and me got our Grand Opening Week, comin’ Sunday through Saturday.
As always we got free medium sodas and coffee, one per customer.
And for those with five holes me or Joe punched in your loyalty cards,
you each receive a free dessert ‘wit’ purchase of any entrée (17 dollars or more) .
How ‘da ya’ like that folks? Pretty swell, huh?

Tuesday and We’nesday we got live music, Jazz Tuesday and Blue Grass We’nesday.
In the future we might get live music all the time; free for loyal customers; three bucks a head for them without cards. Nice, huh? You betcha!
Remember loyalty cards is always available from our lovely wait staff. Take a LOW bow girls. Nice!

Burgers and hots will still be our featured items on the menu.
We got six kinds ‘a’ burgers and three kinds ‘a’ hots.
All them come with fries or onion rings and coleslaw or ‘tato salad;
hot sauce me and Joe got for ‘yas’ too. Nice, huh?
But Joe and me (we’re buddies as well as bro’s ‘ya’ know?) plan ‘ta’
expand the choices to please our customers even more. That’s you folks.
Fish and chips, cold sandwiches, and chili and takeout are maybe comin’.

We plan a great run here, Joe and me, see, as we continue to serve ‘ya’, our friends.
We might branch out to other locations as our competitors (ha ha) wise up and go belly up…..’fore they owe too much dough ‘ta’ ev’ryone.

(That’s when they know they can’t beat me and my brother here.)

There’s been talk ‘bout lawsuits ‘bout our girls’ attire (or lack of it) but Joe and me got the city boys in our pockets. (ha ha)
Never forget we love all ‘yas’, our loyal customers.

And don’t forget our new address here: 1200 Oceanside Avenue..this place here.
Tell your people about our great food. Thanks a bunch. Lunch too.
(Nov.2012)