You had travelled so far, but I couldn’t wait,
to share doubts, in my last conscious hour.
Such grief is my gift to the man that I love
I am certain to weep within every shower.
Have you been to see him, I cannot bear look.
I left him to dangle and writhe in sorrow
And you my dear friend, have to fill in-between,
The love he knew well and what joy he can borrow.
Should I have tethered him to my breast, inhaled
his whole being, – fused with my final breath
Sunk us both, in a sea of colourless Morphine,
(oops nurse, spilt my meds, just leave me the rest.)
Remember our teens – wild shrieks – tapping feet
baby steps in tight skirts – pointed harlequin shoes.
How a love nudged apart two giggling Gerties,
and signposts got lost for paths there to choose.
The wanting was there, I could read his signs.
I knew too how gladly he’d lay by my side.
Content to pass each lethal dose between lips,
that shrunk to form horror the day that I died.
Will you see him again before you leave?
Shake my scent through the weave of his pillow,
I am golden with moments of love that he gave,
And the next time we meet will remind him so.
copyright ©Roan May 2009
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